Studio Journal- Entry # 2

I had an in class painting critique today.  For some reason, when asked a question I was just getting good at answering... I drew a blank. Oh, Brittany, why did you have to ask me that?
It was a perfectly viable question that should arise in the discusion of my work.  "How do you see your work exsisting as paintings?"  She wasn't asking to be contrary, but because she wanted to see how I, the artist,  thought about painting.  Rightfully so. 
See, my artworks are sculptural objects that hang on the wall.  More like 3D art than traditional painting.  Its work that I made while questioning and exploring what painting is and could be.  Its not like I am not self-aware in my process and its not like I haven't been defending my ever expanding definition of painting to my peers for the past 3 years...
So, today, why was I paralyzed by her question?

Perhaps my reaction earlier today in crit was because the last big issue I was dealing with in my studio practice last year had to do with my artwork's reliance on the wall.  Why do I make these objects that are meant to exist on the wall?  Why not let them be just sculpture?

It's a question that arose from the get go, but I never really entertained the thought.  Before, I knew I was interested in painting and exploring what it meant to be.  So as I experimented and asked questions, my work deviated and transformed and emerged as these strange hybrid-monsters.  They are excersises in pushing up against limits- or what I thougth may have been a limit- in painting.  Let's not forget, I am by all means just a student trying to learn about painting.  So my work as an undergrad is inquisitive and a bit unresolved. 

And now.... I am about to have to make some work that counts.  Not just experiments and deviations and curiosities.  Its time for me to say soemthing with the visual language I've been gathering over the years.  I may not have learned everything I want to or need to, but I'll have to make do with what I got.

And that brings me right back to the question about painting vs sculpture.  What is it about painting that is particular to my unique message? Thats one of the first thing I need to figure out....